Many years later I found the lady who was involved in hiding in me in the Ardennes. I found her name, Mme Wittamer. I managed to make an appointment to see her but she never turned up. I subsequently learnt that she’d married & never told her husband that she’d hidden a child during the war.

My father says that when he found me she didn’t want to give me up. A lot of them didn’t. She wanted to keep this child. He never talked about her either, which again I found subsequently difficult to understand because it was the last step, if you like, in the life story of being alive. The Resistance put me with her in the Ardennes. And, for whatever reason, no information of any kind from any of the family, apart from the fact that they may have met her once. Not from my father, not from my stepmother, not from anybody. That in a way hurts because that would have been [sighs]—it would have been good. To close the circle I suppose. I only know her first name because there is a card that was found. Her name was Wittamer.

For many years I had photos of me, I knew it was me but where they came from, where they were taken, I had no idea. One of them gives my name. On the back of one of the photos: ‘souvenir de Jacqui’. Who wrote it, no idea. There’s so many different layers—the puzzle, you know, trying to find the bits & pieces, it’s complicated, complex.